your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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