I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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