There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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