I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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