i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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