I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
