Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
