he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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