Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
