it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
