TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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