I wish I only lived at night.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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