I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
