That's when you crack a 10am beer
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
