i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's blow job season.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
