i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
