highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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