My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
