That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
