Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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