Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
