she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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