the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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