are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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