i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
