So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
