Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
