I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize