Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
