she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
