We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Small penises have feelings too.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
