You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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