True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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