he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
