This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
