Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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