You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
