I'll bet she douches with gravy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
