He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
ttyl tear gas
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
