get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
