I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
