My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
