I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
