Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
