The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
