Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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