so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
