Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
