Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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