already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
