Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
