just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
