My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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