dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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